I am a twenty-something female from one of the more lackluster East Coast states. This is easily my tenth blog, and I am hoping this one sticks. I have a lot that bounces about in this slightly insane head of mine, so releasing it is always cathartic to the soul.
I am an abundance of sunshine on the outside, always happy and always willing to have a good time. On the inside, my thoughts are a bit less shallow. I am more intuitive, more precise, more cynical than meets the eye. For being so young, one is almost always amazed at how closed off I really am, how heartless I really can be. How much in life I dissect to oblivion and how much more I actually know.
Boys are the number one issue in my mind, right up there with politics and racing. I find the assholes, but they’re assholes in disguise. I am actually attracted to the nice guys, despite the claims they finish last, but in all actuality, the nice guys are the biggest assholes of them all. They tell you what they think you want to hear, when at least the real dicks are honest. I have learned, there is no such thing as a good man, just a guy who is good at making up a fairy tale.
Most men, especially most men my age, don’t understand me, how I work, what makes me tick, what I need from a real man and in a real relationship. Nothing angers me more than someone who views me as naive, weak and dumb. These three things I surely am not. I listen to the things you don’t even realize you tell me, the little things I pick up on that honestly tell me everything I need to know. I see the inconsistencies in your stories, your eyes, your everything. Men, they are the idiots, not the women. They don’t realize how much we know, and it would debilitate them if they ever found out.
So, this blog is being made to tap into the real me, the me that despite working years on closing myself off, the me that knows there is still hope out there. It might not be as pretty and as flawless as I once envisioned, but it has to be better than the own personal hell I have put myself through for so long.
It seems as though my comment wanted to be submitted before I was throughly finished with it. I apologize for multiple comments. Delete my first one and I will continue with this one.
You seem like you may be a bitter girl on the inside. Men are very stupid creatures from the start. They need to learn how the female mind works. There are some men out there that do understand women and know how to treat them. They do not tell them what they want to hear, they tell them what they need to hear. They also know how to treat women in a manner that is not degrading. The perfect guy is tantamount to finding a good girlfriend you can talk to about anything. I know there is no such thing as a “perfect guy” but there are some that come close, at least that’s what I am told. Granted our views of a perfect guy may also vary.
I have read your other post and it seems as though you are at a crossroads in your life. You seem to realize there is more out there waiting for you somewhere, sometime but you are a little apprehensive on leaving something that seems ok. I cannot tell you what to do with your life or what direction to take with it. I can only give my “stranger on the internet” input.
I hope to read more of your blogs in the future. I am intruiged by the title of your password protected entry. It seems very interesting.